Essex Mums

Blog has moved

2010-01-21T08:15:00.001-08:00

The Essex Mums blog has now moved to here: www.essexmums.org/blog

Come and follow us over there!

Essex Mums January Newsletter

2010-01-04T03:13:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all Essex Mums (and Dads... and Grandparents...!)

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and are currently enjoying your first of many enjoyable and restful days in 2010. Things here at Essex Mums have been hectic over the last few weeks but I hope you'll be able to see the results of my labours in the form of two new exciting areas of the website.

Health & Fitness Special
We all tend to overdo it at Christmas, and then make resolutions to get fitter and healthier on January 1st Well, this year Essex Mums is here to help you make that happen! On the homepage you will see January's special feature on Health and Fitness, with links to lots of great ideas for getting fit, eating well and getting your kids active. As well as information from fantastic organisations such as MEND and Change4Life, schemes and classes from Hockley playcentre Monkey Bizzness and Basildon gym David Lloyd. we also have help and advice from our very own forum members, which is probably the best support you can get. Come and post in the dedicated Health & Fitness support thread if you need some advice or would just like to talk about your own health and fitness journey.

Alternative Shopping Guide
Following the success of the Alternative Christmas Gift Guide, Essex Mums now has it's own Alternative Shopping Guide, featuring lots of fantastic ideas for gifts, toys, clothes, house and home. It has everything from practical purchases for new parents to the most gorgeous handmade clothes you could wish to see. Come and take a look, and if you would like to be featured or have an idea for something that would fit in, let me know.

Events for January and February
I'm now compiling the events calendar for 2010 so if you have anything you would like to see added, please send it to events@essexmums.org. Likewise if the details of a class or group you run are not on the Classes and Groups page, please let me know. There is currently a lot of information on this calendar so in the new year it will be broken down into areas to make it easier - keep an eye out for that!

Specials this year
Over the next few months I'll be running special features on using cloth nappies, and on young parents. If you would like to get involved, please let me know.

Competitions and offers
I've had lots of people asking if they can run competitions on the site and offers for Essex Mums. I can hardly refuse now, can I?! In the next couple of months you'll see a new page for these, so if you have anything you'd like to be featured please get in touch!

Come and say hello!
If you haven't stopped by the forum in a while, make it your new year's resolution to come and say hello! You'll be guaranteed a warm welcome in the introductions section, can just dive right in to one of our friendly daily chats, or see if anyone in your area wants to meet up. I can say with some certainty you're unlikely to find a friendlier group of Mums this side of the internet!

Everything else
As always there is lots to work on, and I'll be adding more to the Map and the Useful Website page. The forum continues to tick along nicely with everything from daily chatter to storming debates happening every day. On top of that we have the much-anticipated results of the Essex Mums Awards 2009 so keep an eye out for that! Once again I'd like to say that if there's anything you'd like to see on the site, please do let me know!

Thanks for all your support and hope you have a lovely 2010!

Louise
www.essexmums.org

Are the big chain stores stealing Christmas from us Mums?

2009-12-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

When I was a small child a mere 25 years ago, my Mum despaired at having to make me costumes for school plays and fancy dress. I was always dressed in black tights and a leotard with something attached! Stars for Christmas, a swimming cap and paper beak as a blackbird. Tin foil over said swimming cap to turn me into a soldier... you get the picture.

Had she been a Mum to a young child in today’s society she would no doubt have rejoiced at the array of nativity costumes available for under a tenner in the supermarkets. I’m sure there are plenty of busy mums and those who are useless at costume making that would join her in thanking the costume gods, but where does that leave those of us who ‘want’ to make their kids costumes?

I’ve always been crafty and for years have been looking forward to the day I could pop a tea-towel on my sons head and turn him into a shepherd, or stuff some brown tights to make a donkey tail and ears.

“Who’s stopping you”? you might ask, well the supermarkets are.

It all comes down to peer pressure. I can’t embarrass my poor son now. Imagine him, the only little mite in leggings and a leotard standing amongst a whole host of ornate shop bought costumes. He’d look totally out of place and Mummy would look like she didn’t earn enough money to pay for a costume.

So supermarket bosses, I appreciate you need to do what you can to make money, but please don’t cash in on those parents who are either too busy, cant be bothered or are not particularly crafty. You’re ruining an age old tradition and a dream that many of us have been looking forward to for years!

By Claire Mackaness (Sadly unable to create mummy)

Essex Mums Updates

2009-12-06T02:13:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone,

I hope this glum sunday morning finds you all tucked up in bed or home in the warm! I just wanted to give you an update of a few things that have been happening on Essex Mums recently, as well as things to come.

Parents' Guide
I've been asked to write an Essex Mums column in the quarterly magazine Parents' Guide. The Parent's Guide is a free magazine, given out in schools, clinics etc. and covering topics that are of interest to parents in Essex, and offering unrivalled information, advice and articles of direct relevance to them and their families such as education, health and lifestyle.

It's an amazing opportunity for me to have to be involved with such a fantastic magazine and promote the site and I really hope I can do it justice. I plan to discuss things that have come up on here that I think will be of interest to other parents such as hot topics, things that have caught our attention etc. If any of you have something you'd like to say, let me know and I'll see if I can include it! It might be nice to have a little bit from other people too.

I also thought it would be great to include some of what's being posted on the blog, so get writing! I'm still offering a £20 voucher for the best blog post each month.

The Parents' Guide website is here: http://www.theparentsguideuk.com/index.html take a look.

The winter edition comes out on 14th December so keep an eye out for it and for me!

Alternative Christmas Gift Guide/Shopping Guide
The Alternative Christmas Gift Guide has been a great success, with over 60 great ideas for places to shop online, offering something a bit different and an opportunity to avoid the High Street this Christmas! Many are also offering discounts, so make sure you take a look: www.essexmums.org/christmas.html

I've decided to make the Shopping Guide a permanent feature following a few requests from users/advertisers, so keep an eye out for a new page in January! If you're interested in advertising your own product, please contact me for a great introductory rate!

Places to Go
I've recently started work on a detailed 'Places to Go' section: www.essexmums.org/places.html. This is big undertaking and a gradual process, but offers in-depth information about places to go in Essex, as well as the opportunity for you to leave comments on places you have been to. If you are the manager of an attraction and would like to be listed, please let me know.

Competitions/discounts
I've recently had a lot of companies asking me if they could feature competitions on the Essex Mums site and offering discounts to our members, so I've decided to create a dedicated page for this which will start in January, so watch out for it! If you have something you'd like to offer our Mums, get in touch!

Monthly features
Make sure you check in on the homepage www.essexmums.org for new features every month. As well as seasonal information about what's on, the new year will bring some interesting features, including a Health and Fitness special in January, a cloth nappy special and a young parents special. If you would like to get involved in any of these, I would love for you to be! Also, if you are have a product or services related to these categories, I would love you to advertise with the site during the feature and would happily offer a 10% discount on any ads you decide to get.

For you
Finally, please remember that the goal of Essex Mums is to make your life better, easier, happier and fuller. If there is a way in which you think the site can be improved, or something that would benefit you, no matter how big or small, please contact me and I'll see what I can do. I'm especially keen on getting the site more involved in community activities, charity campaigns etc. so get in touch if there is anything you think it can help with, whether it's promotion on the site or something more active.

Thanks for reading and a big thank you to you all for making the site such a success. We recently broke our page view record with over 65,000 page views, 8000 visits and more than 2000 unique visitors in November, and have stormed into the Alexa rankings as the (approximately) 20,000th most viewed site in the UK! For those of you who haven't posted in the forum recently please come and say hello. So many of us have become great friends, so I know sometimes it might seem intimidating for newcomers, but I can honestly say I have never met a more welcoming group of Mums as our very own Essex Mums. I'm genuinely proud to call them friends and hope you will become one too!

Kind regards
Louise
www.essexmums.org

PS. If you haven't already, please follow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EssexMums and become a fan on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Essex-Mums/120425092939

Unique Ideas for Christmas on Essex Mums

2009-11-18T05:03:00.001-08:00

Are you looking for something a bit different this Christmas? Kids have too many toys, looking for something handmade and ethical or just a bit unusual? Come and take a look at the Essex Mums Alternative Christmas Guide! It's full of ideas for unusual presents and has plenty of discounts just for users of Essex Mums! Keep checking back too as there will be more added over the next few days - you're sure to find something you like!

www.essexmums.org/christmas.html

If you have something you'd like to advertise yourself, please get in touch as there's still plenty of time.

Please let me know if you have any comments, and send this on to as many people as you can!

Thanks

Louise

Official Prediction Of Christmas Best-Sellers

2009-11-14T00:47:00.000-08:00

Each year the Toy Retailers Association releases it's prediction of what the 12 best selling toys will be at Christmas.

This year's list includes toys from Hasbro, LEGO, VTech and other popular brands, and to reflect the current financial climate the list only includes toys under £50.

The 12 dream list toys 2009 in alphabetical order -

Bakugan Battle Pack Available From £15

Battle Strikers Available From £20

Ben 10 Alien Force Kevins DX Action Cruiser Available From £18.99

Bendaroos Mega Pack Available From £15.99

GO GO Pets Hamsters Available From £9.99

GX Racers Tightrope Terror Available From £14.99

Kidizoom Multimedia Digital Camera Available From £39.99

LEGO Games Minotaurus Available From £15

Monopoly City Available From £19.99

Princess Peppa’s Palace Available From £30

Sylvanian Families Caravan Available From £34.99

Transformers Movie 2 Voyagers Figures Available From £17.99

Read about & compare prices for each of the top toys here >>

What do you think about the 12 toys chosen?

Are there any toys that you think should have been on the list, but aren't?

Are there any toys on the list that you don't think should be on the list?

Are any of these toys on your children's Christmas lists?

List compiled by Paul Dixon who runs the website Christmas Toy List which is full of toy ideas for Christmas 2009

Coping with a child born wiith Bilateral Talipes

2009-10-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

My partner and I found out our baby would have Bilateral Talipes at our 20 week scan, we were told this was a deformity and that we would need to attend King's College Hospital in London for further scans. When we had this news it felt like the end of the world, our gorgeous little baby was going to have something wrong with it, we were devastated. They also did checks to make sure he didn't have cleft lip or anything else, this was when we started to think ourselves lucky, at least it was just his feet that would need treatment, it could have been his heart, lungs or any other vital organ, I think that's how we accepted it.

We found out we were going to have a boy. We found that by knowing what sex our baby would be it would help us prepare ourselves, so the next day we went and bought lots of baby boys clothes with poppers under the legs, we had been told our baby would go into splints so we wanted to buy clothes that would fit over them. We had a scan at 28 weeks to just to make sure our baby was growing properly.

When I gave birth, naturally, after just a 5 hour 10 minute labour seeing our gorgeous baby boy was the best feeling ever, and to be honest I didn't even look at his feet for a couple of hours, not because I didn't want to, it just didn't seem important, he was here safe and sound and healthy and that was all that mattered. After 5 days my local hospital put his legs in splints, these went from the toe to just under the knee, these were changed weekeept telling the hospital this but they said not to worry just keep trying so I kept trying, this went on for 7 more months, taking Mitchell to 9 1/2 months old. By now he was walking, but he walked on the top of his feet not the sole, when we had our next appointment I told them about this and they said not to worry it will probably correct itself and to come back in 3 months.

I left feeling very confused as surely this couldn't be right, after a week of moaning to my partner about it we decided to find a hospital that did the Ponseti method as I'd been on a club foot forum and lots of members had said how wonderful and successful this treatment was. I went to my local GP and explained the situation, she was very understanding and ended up writing 3-4 referral letters for me to a list of London hospital that practice this method. We ended up going to The Royal London in Whitechapel in London just days before Mitchell's first birthday.

As soon as they saw him they asked why we hadn't had treatment sooner so I had to explain we had, I felt terrible for not getting something done sooner. I should have trusted my instincts not my local hospital who only use a basic treatment method. The consultant, Miss Malaga Shaw and physio, Di Coggings and all the staff at the Brian Roper Unit were wonderful. I'm so grateful to them. They checked Mitchell's feet for severity. They grade each foot out of 6, 6 being the worst, Mitchell's right foot was 4 out of 6 and his left foot was 5.5 out of 6. I don't know how my local hospital could say they were fine.

Mitchell went in to plaster casts straight away, they positioned his feet in a way that would help them correct themselves, they said it may take longer to repair because of his age and size but he shocked us all, and after just 1 week the severity had gone down to 2 out of 6 and 3.5 out of 6, these casts got changed every week so they could re position the feet. After 4 weeks they had to leave him cast free for 2 weeks as he had very severe sores caused by sweat and movement where he kept walking, walking and climbing in the casts. On the 28th December he had a Tenotomy operation on his left foot, he was then put in casts for 4 solid weeks. Leaving him in theatre to have the operation was heartbreaking but it was so worth it. He came out of his casts on the 24th January 2007 and his feet looked great, a little sore but in great shape, they seemed so long instead of cute and dinky but they looked normal. He could walk and climb and pounce and everything in the casts, I'd imagined him not being able to do anything in them but he proved me wrong, he virtually ran with his push along walker. I'm so proud of him and so very grateful to the Royal London for all their support and treatment. I know I left it late to get the correct treatment but this just proves it can work on a toddler and it shows how well they adapt.

We then started our journey with his boots and bar, this was very hard at first but yet again Mitchell adapted really well and learnt to crawl in then and then jump and walk in them. He still has to wear them now, every night. We let him have Saturdays nights off as he is getting close to the end of his treatment. There hoping he can come out of then in February when we have our next appointment. I love Saturday evening when he is boot and bar free, I go in to his room and lift the covers just to see his little legs curled up like 'normal' children instead of his legs being shoulder width apart all the time.

I'm hoping this will give new parents with a talipes baby the hope that we had, although we didn't really get that hope until Mitchell was 1, but every time I see him running around I'm so happy as I thought he would never be able to run like he does. Those of you that have met Mitchell would probably never guess his been through so much to look at him. He is a very brave little boy who has dealt brilliantly with all his treatment.

By Nicky Dawson, Mum to Mitchell and Jamie

Toy Review: Hama Beads

2009-10-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

These are probably one of the best inventions EVER! They are plastic beads that come in 3 different sizes. The larger ones for 3+, midi for 5+ and mini for 10+. You have different shape plates with pegs on them to place the beads onto. If you really like a pattern or picture, you can then use the ironing paper, or normal greaseproof paper, and iron them to make the beads stick together.

I used to love making patterns and pictures with these when I was little and then just a couple of weeks ago when OH and I were out looking for extra birthday presents for his daughter, I saw these and had a blast from the past. OH wasn't sure and had never seen them before, but as they were quite cheap for a small packet of 1000 mixed beads (midi size), we bought a couple of packs with a couple of shape plates. We didn't really expect much enthusiasm from her but she loves them! She's even taken one of the ironed patterns home with her so that she can take it to school tomorrow to do a show and tell about it.

I've found I still enjoy doing them, it's quite relaxing too and its nice that we now have something we both enjoy doing together when my son is in bed.

We've said she can iron the ones she really likes and use them to decorate her bedroom. It's amazing how quiet it keeps her too! She normally doesn't stop talking from morning 'til night!

You can also buy these in box sets to make specific pictures like animals, princesses, Lion King and some boyish ones too.

So if you have creative children who like hands on sort of things then I definitely advise these as a stocking filler for Christmas!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_0_4?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hama+beads&sprefix=hama

You can buy them cheaper on ebay and also sold in The Entertainer toy shop too.

Review by Claire Davis

Do you have a star in the making? Find out at Debutots!

2009-09-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

I took my son Felix to Debutots this afternoon and it was really good fun! He was a little on the young side I think (he's 2yrs 2 months and most of the kids there were around three I think), so he was a little uncertain at first but was really enjoying it by the end.

Even though he doesn't have as vivid an imagination as a lot of the older kids and was a little uncertain of what was going on at first, he's at that age now where he's starting to engage in more imaginative play, and after a little while of hanging back and watching the other kids he started to join in and was actually pretty good at it all.

The class was very freeform with the kids deciding on the direction it took. Obviously there was a structure to it but it seemed to follow the kids rather than having them stick to a rigid plan. The story this week was about an elephant, so the kids were encouraged to pretend to be animals, stomp around the room, explore a zoo etc. The kids who had been there the previous week certainly remembered things they had done prior as one decided he would be a dinosaur!

It looked like madness, but was so much fun. I think it will give the kids involved a real confidence boost and certainly help them use their imaginations, as well as providing some ideas for us Mums for games to play with them. Felix spent the whole journey home telling me about various colour dinosaurs that were hiding in different places we passed while I just looked like a nutter.

Debutots is held every Monday from 1.45 until 2.45pm at the Palace Theatre in Westcliff. See here for more details.

By Louise Ford, louise@essexmums.org

Watch with Mother?

2009-09-16T06:24:00.000-07:00

The TV debate – how much is too much?

Recently my two-year old daughter Millie had a friend round to play. When Millie asked to watch television, I switched on without even thinking about it, until her friend’s mother told me that she does not allow TV. Instantly, I felt a complete failure, taking her comments as total criticism of me and my parenting.

When I was little, TV time was a treat because it was so limited. Today, the world is caught up in a digital revolution. With Sky, Freeview, digital recording and shows on-demand, we have TV on tap. We can watch what we want, whenever we want, and our children know this all too well.

When Millie was born I intended to limit her TV time, but as she grew older I found myself allowing more. Now that she is almost three, the TV has crept into our lives more and more, and she can use the remote control by herself. I use it as an incentive or reward, and it has been a lifeline if one of us is unwell, or if I simply have to get something done. We usually watch in the morning until breakfast, and then again while getting ready to go out. It generally goes on after preschool and continues through lunchtime, when I try to switch off until dinnertime.

Television has a poor image, and has been linked to many of society’s problems such as child obesity, inactivity and anti-social behaviour. However, many shows made for young children have an educational content and are devised to benefit their target age group. As ever, it is down to us to try and get the balance right.

According to Liz Attenborough, manager of Talk to Your Baby, a campaign of The National Literacy Trust, imposing a total ban may be difficult in practice: “There are reports on the issue that paint a potentially worrying picture for parents,” she says. “For most families, however, it is unrealistic to expect that children will not see television at all.”

“A parent’s guide to television” is produced by the campaign to help parents make the most of TV for young children, and is also a reference for healthcare professionals. It recommends restricting TV time to no more than 30 minutes a day for children under two, and up to an hour for children aged three to five. I admit that most days I give up on this by breakfast time. Programmes should be age-appropriate featuring educational content and material that is familiar to the child, as well as new concepts. Shows encouraging verbal responses are ideal for children aged three years and over. I do try to select what I consider to be educational and interactive, but Millie knows what she wants to watch, and whilst some programmes may be less beneficial, she still finds them interesting.

According to the guide, parents should watch with their children whenever possible, and take time afterwards to talk and to encourage creative play around what they have just seen. This is definitely what I aim for, but when I reflect on how far I succeed, I admit that I have to do much better. The TV should be turned off when not being watched, because constant background noise can distract children from conversation and play. The guide also recommends watching familiar DVDs or recorded programmes, as young children will benefit more from the repetition of words, phrases and concepts than from watching something new every time.

Personally, I always think of TV time as relaxing and recreational, and we all need some downtime in a busy day. I also believe there are potentially educational and developmental benefits from watching suitable, age - appropriate programmes. My own daughter certainly seems to have gained from certain shows, and I never thought that she would practice yoga, speak a few words of French or try some ballet steps, all of her own volition. Together we have learned to grow sunflowers, make pizza faces and create splat paintings. I have also noticed that she repeats new words and phrases that she has learned from television.

However, I realise that I need to accept responsibility and take control of my daughter’s viewing. A total ban would deprive Millie of something she loves, and something that, if I manage to get the balance right, can be a valuable educational tool. There is only so much creative play, reading, baking and artwork that we can do in a day, and sometimes mummy needs a break too.

Setting a strict limit of an hour a day sounds like a good idea, but it would probably not work for us. Sometimes Millie gets tired and needs extra downtime if we have been busy, and there is a lot to be said for snuggling up together with a DVD on a rainy afternoon. On the other hand, I have to work on not giving in to her every time she wants the TV on, and try to think of something else to distract her. “It is more realistic to advise that parents limit the time children spend in front of the TV, and that children have adult company while watching programmes or DVDs,” says Liz Attenborough. “Parents can then talk to children about the things that they are seeing on screen, which turns the activity into a positive opportunity for both parent and infant interaction and developing crucial early language skills.”

We both enjoy watching together and chatting about what we have seen, although I am not very good at making time for this. I know there will probably still be times when the TV is on whilst I am working or doing housework, but where possible, I will look at it as an activity, rather than something to fall back on when I am busy. That way, maybe we will both get a bit more out of it.

By Helena Eynon

Review of Kids' Kingdom, Southend

2009-08-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

Kids Kingdom has re-opened and is under new ownership. There were many reasons why people started avoiding Kids' Kingdom, one being it was dirty and smelly!

The new owners have made some changes that makes it look like a different place. It is brighter, cleaner and is busier than I have seen it in a long time, I would be intrigued to see how much its used during term time. As soon as you walk in, you're greeted by a friendly welcome. There is antibacterial hand gel for you to use should you wish on both entrance and exit. The children are given a stamp on their hand (which I hope comes off), and the younger ones are given a wristband (like at Adventure island) to tell staff which areas they can and cant go in, and reminded to keep their socks on!

The new diner is a lot busier, with new tables and chairs and a new menu, which ranges from £2.95 - £6.00, and includes jacket potatos, salads, omlettes, sandwiches, and a variety of sides and hot and cold drinks.

Going through to the main play area, you don't really notice much change, apart from it is lighter, there is music being played and the flooring has been replaced: they have used individual carpet tiles so its easier to replace one if it gets dirty / smelly. Some of the areas have new soft play and the under 5 area has Little Tykes horses too. The lady who greeted us said they are adding to the under 5 area once the children are back at school.

I noticed a increase in staff presence, so although you are responsible for your children, they were on helping hand too, and encouraged children who were trying to get up jelly mountain. Children were still going in the under 5 area who were obviously older, however most of them were with younger siblings and were swiftly told to behave by either a member of staff or the odd parent.

The soft play still smelled a little, but it looked cleaner - Alexa wore white socks and they are still white! (and we went in the garden area too!) The garden area has been decked and has outdoor seating, there are now sit on toys and often you saw a few tractors zipping past you! They are planning (weather permitting) BBQ's over the bank holiday weekend - Fri, Sat and Sun!

During term time they will be opening at 9.15 for coffee mornings, and are hoping to do some planned activities working with the imagination station. We stayed for just over a hour, and despite the door to the garden being open and windows, they were really hot, so decided to leave, but will definetly be taking them back soon.

Opening times -
M-SAT - 10am - 6pm
WED (term time) - CLOSED
SUN - 10am - 4pm

Cost (for up to 2 hours play)
Babies under 1 - FREE
3 and under - £3
4 yrs - £4
5+ - £5.50

Kids Kingdom has 8,000 sq feet of play area, a 14 foot vertical slide, 14 foot jelly mountain, obstacle courses, clibs, runs, a dedicated under 5 area with soft play, twist slides, a themed diner and themed birthday parties!

Review by mum of two, Michelle Summerson

A young Mum's story

2009-08-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

It was coming up to my 18th birthday party the invites were sent out and preparations underway! A few weeks before my party I kept getting hot and cold and feeling strange so I booked a doctors appointment. It was a Friday night and I walked to the doctors alone thinking I probably just have a bug, being so young and oblivious!

The doctor was running late, I went in for my appointment and told him my symptoms. He said ‘are you pregnant?’ the first thing I said was ‘I hope not!’. Me and Martin always used protection and I had only just got the pill not that long ago! While he went off to get the test I think ‘no way, I’m not pregnant!’. I do the test and I am. I burst into tears thoughts running through my head: ‘Oh no, what’re my parents going to say, what’s Martin going to do? Only been together 6 months… will he run a mile?’. The doctor tells me I have all weekend to think about what I want to do, abortion never come into my head once - the second he told me I knew I was going to keep this baby and bring it up whatever.

So, I walk home with tears in my eyes thinking the worse bit is going to be telling my parents. I get home, go in to the living room and say to my Mum and Dad ‘I need to speak to you…’ straight away my Mum realises… ‘You’re pregnant aren’t you?!’ how do mums always know? (I have now learnt that myself!) They were both brilliant and said they would stand by me and do everything they could to help; so I thought to myself martin is the next person to tell! Will he be as calm as my parents? He comes in from work and I tell him - at first he thinks I’m joking! Like that’s something you joke about! He then replies ‘has your dad got a spare fag I can have?’, my dad laughs and says ‘Right, first you get my daughter pregnant, now you want my fags?’ and laughs! Martin also says he is here for me and also wants to keep the baby.

A few weeks later it’s my 18th party. By now, I have found out I’m two months already gone, so I turn up at my party two months pregnant - in a size 6 skirt might I add! As the night goes on I announce to my friends and family I’m two months pregnant - as you can imagine there are mixed views. My Mum’s sister-in-law told my Mum that it wasn’t fair as when I have the baby someone has to die to make space for it. My boss at the time told my mum he was shocked my mum was supporting me and she should do every thing in her power to make me get rid of the baby as it would ruin my life and I had a lot more to give then being a Mum. My aunts said they were pleased but you could see they were disgusted when they said ‘so who’s the father? Is it martin?’. My friends were shocked at first and it did not sink in until I showed them the scan. My friends have drifted away after me having a baby as they are off clubbing and at uni and I’m a stay at home mum. I still held my head high and enjoyed my party as to be honest it never really sunk in I was pregnant till I held the baby in my arms .

The midwife that dealt with me was the same midwife that dealt with my Mum when she had me - she was lovely and I felt she treated me the same as she would any patient, not differently because I was young. The doctors were also fine and supportive all the way through - I did feel a bit ashamed at first because I was so young but I’m sure the doctors have seen younger mums. The nine months go past so quick, I have great fun picking out buggies, car seats, cots… I have it all ready, then on the morning of 26th October I can’t rest and am feeling pains in my legs so I get to the hospital as soon as possible. After 5hr and 40 minutes of labour I have a beautiful baby girl called Emily Jessica, weighing 6lb. Me and Martin and my parents and brothers were the first to see her, my mum and Martin were my birth partners and were both brilliant - it all seemed to happen so quick.

I felt very strange at first only being 18 on this ward with my baby and it took me a while once home to go out and not feel bad that I was a young mum. I had comments here and there from people but I thought to myself in the end, I have to get up for her, change her, be there when she’s ill - its got nothing to do with anyone else, so I held my head high and brought my daughter up with Martin. Mums at the local toddlers’ group always seemed to look down at me and have their own little corner which made me feel bad. Some mums were supportive and had been though the same situation, others thought I was throwing my life away.

I also remember one thing a so called friend said to me - he said ‘we’re all off out down the pub tonight having fun… oh, and you can’t as you have a baby,’ which at the time hurt, but I thought to myself I would rather be at home with this bundle of joy in my arms looking at me feeling so safe and loved than to be getting drunk or out at all. This baby did not ask to come into the world, it was my doing, so I will be the best mother I can be. It has been hard because I lost my best years and do think what would I be doing if I had them later in life. The most difficult things about being a young mum are the comments I have got off strangers such as ‘is that your sister?" when I reply my daughter, I get ‘Oh you started young, did you not want a life?". Also the way young mums get branded - oh they must be a single mum on benefits - which was not true. Being so young I used to get hurt by the comments made but have learnt to let them go over my head now.

I love being a young mum and having the energy to do all the things I want to do with my kids, and love the fact that I can live my older years enjoying myself as missed out on my earlier days! I now have a son Alex who is 4, Emily is 8, I’m still with martin and we are planning on getting married in 2011 and would not change any of it. I am a proud mummy of two .

by Emma Lynne Minchin

Kids r Us, South Ockendon

2009-08-20T02:21:00.000-07:00

This soft play centre is brand new and has only been open since the 16th July. With three separate areas, one for over 5s with a twisty slide and 4 lane bumpy slide, a smaller under 5s area with a nice ball pool, slide and airblower and a baby section with large soft shapes and a roll around area.

Spotlessly clean throughout, the centre has lots for children to do and I think my little boy would happily have played all day. There is lots of seating and you can sit close to all of the structures so you can see your child from all angles no matter where they are.

Food and drink is reasonably priced with a full range of hot and cold food including things like lasagne, curry, jackets and spaghetti bolognaise as a change from the burgers and nuggets (which you can also buy if you’d like). The usual cakes, sweets and even slush puppies are also available. It would have been nice to see a salad on the menu, but that is such a tiny thing in comparison to what is otherwise a great venue.

The toilets are super clean with really nice baby change areas in both. Nice touches such as IKEA fish lighting and clean fluffy towels also makes a nice change from harsh strip lighting and blowers.

The staff seem very friendly and helpful and are well presented and constantly cleaning and tidying up after you!

Whilst we were there, there was a party taking place in one of the two party rooms and it looked like the kids were having fun. Kids r Us offers a full range of parties from Hannah Montana to Cars from £7.95 per child.

I would rate Kids r Us 10/10 and will defiantly be returning.

I only hope that they can keep the place as impeccably clean and tidy into the future.

Kids r Us, Arinsale Drive
South Ockendon
Opposite Bonnygate School

by Claire Mackaness,
www.clairemackaness.com

Twittering Mums

2009-08-17T03:27:00.000-07:00

Are you one of the many who joined twitter, tweet away and have no idea what you are doing? You want the 'right' kind of followers? You have no idea what to do with the ones you have?

Then read on...

Twitter is excellent targeted marketing you can reach your customer base and inform them of offers and other tidbits about you and your company. In the case of Essex Mums, it's meeting other local mums.

What happens if you look at who is following you and find it's not your target market?

The first thing to do is look at your twitter strategy, your overall plan on how you are going to make it work for you. If you don't have a plan then perhaps now is the time to make one. Even if it's one or two goals on the back of a bib.

Getting the followers you want....
I live in front of a golf course, my dog escapes onto the golf course and I have tweeted this, I now have a stream of golfers following me, nice but they are not potential customers to me, they are not likely to call me and ask me to deliver a new set of tees to the 9th hole now are they?!!!

They find me because they search for golf. When was the last time you did a tweet search? When did you last do a search on twitter home page for your keyphrases? Go and do one now, do you come up in the search on the first few pages?

If you do then there is a good chance potential customers will find you. Don't panic if you didn't, it's not the end of the world but remember there is a fine line between being found for your keywords / phrases and spamming twitter. Yep. There are some people who tweet the same link over and over and instead of gaining followers, they lose them as they are not building a relationship, they are just broadcasting.

Make a point of tweeting once a day a link to your blog, so you are known for what you do and who you are. It can be articles or posts you wrote some time ago, fresh content is good but again it's not the end of the world if you don't have it - you can establish that you have been doing what you doing for a long time and are very experienced. If you have the time you can freshen up those articles and entice your current readers to revisit your older material.

If you don't have your own blog then post your articles here on the Essex Mums forum and then tweet the link. Easy.

Right back to getting the followers you want...
There is a lot of emphasis on 'local' and 'local' is very important. You are more likely to meet a fellow twitterer if they are local. If you meet them and you 'click' you are more likely to get recommended. So that golfer who plays golf behind my house and follows me on twitter has a purpose after all!

Do a local search for twitter users in your local area, make contact with them, follow them and promote local tweetups (yep, they are really called that). Check out the events page if you want to see what's happening in your area in the next few weeks. From local toddler groups, preschool classes, you can bet someone is looking for that information and when they find it, they find you.

Build relationships, retweet something someone interesting has said. Tweet an interesting non work related link, start a conversation. More importantly every now and then ask your followers who they would recommend you connect with who are looking for your services. Connect with their suggestions and start building a relationship there too.

Sounds like hard work? well no one said it was easy but it can pay dividends. Try it for twenty minutes a day for 6 weeks and see what a difference it makes to your business.

And if you are a busy working mum, twitter can allow you to build the relationships you want, in your own time.

by Sarah Arrow
Sarah is a member of Essex Mums and writes the blog 'What's On in Essex'.

Welcome to the Essex Mums blog!

2009-08-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

We are now looking for editorial content on Essex Mums. They can be about anything and everything: from pregnancy help, through dealing with tantrums to advice on surviving your child's first day at school, as well as about local events/places to go/groups. Articles can be any length - from a short, snappy list to an in-depth feature.

Of course, I'd love to be able to pay everyone, but at the moment I can't. However, each month we'll be voting on the best article and I will be giving a £20 Amazon voucher for the best one each month - not much but better than nothing!

If it's something you're interested in doing, please give me a shout on louise@essexmums.org or just send me something you've done. Even if you're nervous about your writing skills, give it a go!